Things I Used To Wear: Footwear

Things I Used To Wear is not limited to clothing. It includes footwear and accessories as well, because those are just as (if not more) ridiculous than the brightly colored, oddly patterned, ill-fitting, ugly ugly ugly clothes I once wore.

Now on to the footwear!



Exhibit A: The fanciest footwear money can buy on a 8th grade salary.

Features include:

• Substantial rounded toe, providing full coverage up to mid-foot.
• Durable straps at a generous width.
• A modest one and one-half inch heel.
• All done in a lovely black satiny material.
  

You might not believe me, but this was CUTTING EDGE FASHION.

I hate to admit it, but the best memory I have wearing these shoes was to a high school dance. Not my finest hour. I wish I had the picture from that dance, because my outfit was absolutely hideous. These shoes paired with a stretchy, navy blue sleeveless dress I borrowed from my cousin on a day's notice, CRIMPED HAIR, and sparkly purple fingernail polish. Also, my mom forced me to wear nylons (which is probably why I chose to wear these particular shoes).

For some reason, I thought that since black, blue and purple are all dark colors, they would go together. This err in judgment was made apparent to me when I saw the posed dance picture several weeks later. About a year after that, I commented to my friend Erica, who was also in the picture, that my choice of colors was rather strange.

"What was I thinking?" I said, laughing.

Erica replied, "Yeah, I noticed that your shoes were black, your dress was navy and your fingers were purple, but it was really too late to do anything about it."

*Awkward silence.*

Me: "You should really tell me next time."

The end.